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Worst films ever
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This topic is locked: you cannot edit posts or make replies.    AMG(SC) Index -> Western Films, TV & Comics

kylej64
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Kyle Johnson
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PostPosted: 16/01/09 01:08  Reply with quote

This was sujested by GaTCHa and i think it is a good idea.

I'll start the slatting first. (i point out there is no particular order to these)

Vanilla skys (the Tom Cruise one, not 'Open Your Eyes' the original)
I won't go into detail about how boring it was, or the way it amazed me as to how little i could care about the charecters. Instead i'll tell you about what happened when i went to the cinima to see it. After about half an hour, nearly the entire cinima was board and had started talking (a few had even walked out). The usher actually came in, muted the film and warned the entire audience that if we didn't shut up we would get kicked out.

A.I. Artificial Intelligence. That was about 2 and a half hours (that felt like A LOT MORE) of my life i can never get back. It just dribbled out, never ending like bad diarrhea. And just when you think it has come to the end, Aliens. i mean any slight bit of interest i had died it's final painfull death right then (i later found out what appeared to be aliens were just advanced future robots, but it was not obvious).

humm, potentially a contraversial one now

Wild wild west. I was forced to pay to see it against my will (on an activities weekend and was told we were going, end of story, dispite my protests). I was painfull.

Jack, 1996 with robin williams as the 'kid' who aged 4 time as fast as a normal person. What ever bright spark wrote this should hide his head in shame.

and that will do for now. i'm sure to add to these as time passes.

kylej64
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PostPosted: 20/01/09 01:00  Reply with quote

Does no one else despise any films or want to disagree with any of my choices?

Elkat
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PostPosted: 20/01/09 05:46  Reply with quote

D.O.A: Dead or Alive
I'm a strong fan for the DOA series, but I felt the movie butchered the story and cast. Though I understand that Ayane has fallen in love with Hayate (her own half-brother/cousin) since he was the only person who didn't see her as the "poisoned child", the movie made no point in telling the audience that they were related or even mentioning Raido, her father and Hayate's and Kasumi's uncle! They gave pretty much no background for any of the characters and portrayed Kasumi far too coldly as well as make Christie a hero (last time I check, attempting assassination against one of the game's good guys doesn't count as being heroic). The only character that they portrayed remotely accurately was Jack and that was because he was an American, partying playboy! (Don't get me started on the two "new" characters they introduced.) Bottom line: American director + Japanese video game franchise = indefinate failure.

Burn After Reading
Maybe me, and my elder sister, don't have the exact "sense of humor" to find the movie funny, but I found difficult to follow the plot of the story and was left feeling unsatisfied with how the whole movie ended. Maybe it's not the slapstick comedy I was expecting, but I thought movies labelled "comedy" have focus a little less on its plot and more on it's gags! Am I wrong with this?

Shawn of the Dead
Long story short, the reasons I didn't like this movie was the same as Burn After Reading. I guess I'm just not into that kind of humor.

Black Christmas
Never watched it because I don't like horror movies (yet I have no complaints with "horror" anime and manga). I'm not religious, by my family celebrates Christmas like many other American families and I guess I hold that holiday for something dear. You can only expect my disgust at hearing that they've created a horror movie involving something I hold dear! Was anybody else the slightest bit disgusted like me (if not completely outraged by such a movie?) I know freedom of speech and I happen to the most open minded person I can think of, but I think there are just some lines you don't cross and making a horror movie based on Christmas is one of them!
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PostPosted: 06/02/09 16:55  Reply with quote

Elkat wrote:
Black Christmas...

I wasn't put off by the theme of christmas at all (cue "Santa Claus is gunning you down", Futurama style), but I did rage when the killed off Michelle Trachtenberg's character!
Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad
But yeah, you weren't missing anything. It (well, the recent remake anyway) was reeealy crap.



I'll have to add

American Pie series
Nothing but crass embarrassment and gross-out humour. Waste of time.

Butterfly Effect
Had such potential, but just got more and more pointlessly depressing. The twist at the end had some value, but it was very much not worth the wait!
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Elkat
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PostPosted: 07/02/09 00:44  Reply with quote

Oddly, I've seen that Futurama episode and I admit, I wasn't the slightest bit offended once so ever. Then again I at times find shows like Futurama or Family Guy to be funny so I guess I would be hypocrate if I said I was disgusted by it.
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kylej64
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PostPosted: 07/02/09 17:30  Reply with quote

migratingfishswim wrote:


ugh, yes that was awful! but then so is every film with jude law (except gattaca)

same goes for every film with matt damon, ben affleck and tom cruise (except dogma)


What about 'Enemy at the Gates' and 'eXistenZ'. It's just half of (and mainly the recent half) of his films that are awful.

And i'm glad you have the exception on dogma, but i would also say most Kevin Smith films are quite good (and they all seem to include Ben Affleck) like, mallrats, chasing Amy, dogma and even to a lesser extent 'Jay and Silent Bobn stike back' (though don't get me wrong, 'Jersey Girl' was dire, though they did kill off J-Lo's charecter right near the biginning)

GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 08/02/09 21:17  Reply with quote

kylej64 wrote:


What about 'Enemy at the Gates' and 'eXistenZ'. It's just half of (and mainly the recent half) of his films that are awful.

And i'm glad you have the exception on dogma, but i would also say most Kevin Smith films are quite good (and they all seem to include Ben Affleck) like, mallrats, chasing Amy, dogma and even to a lesser extent 'Jay and Silent Bobn stike back' (though don't get me wrong, 'Jersey Girl' was dire, though they did kill off J-Lo's charecter right near the biginning)


More credit to kevin smith that he can make ben affleck bearable!

On the subject of jude law (*spits*) - lest not forget the beautiful and lamentable dirge that was sky captain and the world of tomorrow.


I also totally hate A.I. - good summary, Kyle, what the hell was it with that ending??? Aliens? - holy crap! - give me my life back.

Which links into Indiana Jones and the crystal who gives a fudge Aliens!!!!! Again. Spielberg and Lucas need sorting out - they're the worst kind of people. First they make your childhood all warm and exciting with Dr Jones and Luke Sywalker, before waiting patiently, oh so patiently, before raping your memories with a rancid load of crap a la Dr Aching Bones and Anakin poo-talker, sullying any pleasure you once had of the original movies. Seriously, I go back to those classic movies and it's not the same, not anymore.....

Oh, don't get me started on when I worked at a cinema during the release of Titanic...... on and on and on and on and on.... make it stop...
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Mr Sleep
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PostPosted: 11/02/09 23:32  Reply with quote

migratingfishswim wrote:
starship troopers.
not only did i have to watch it once when someone else chose the film to see, but then i had to watch it again when it was played on a coach in china...at full (mandarin) volume

that's three hours of my life i'll never get back


Try sitting through Starship Troopers 2
Uuuuuuguughghghghguhgh

D'ya know, I think there's a 3 out there too (in addition to some CG-cartoon awefulness). Doesn't bare contemplating...
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PostPosted: 12/02/09 07:01  Reply with quote

Mr Sleep wrote:

But yeah, you weren't missing anything. It (well, the recent remake anyway) was reeealy crap.


The original Black Christmas was actually a really effective, creepy slasher flick (that's what I thought, at least), but my lord that remake was brutally bad. In fact, just about every remake (especially horror and comedy remakes) in the past few years have been pretty much unbearable.
Also...

Transformers, the live-action 07 one. Yeah, I know, judging by my avatar and username, I obviously like Transformers. I love the cartoons and action figures, which I collect when I happen to have a cash surplus every now and then, but this movie was horrid. Looking at it as just a movie, it's poorly written, poorly acted, badly edited, overly long, over-produced, and over-directed. The human characters are all boring, annoying, and unconvincing. The action scenes are filmed so shakily and edited together so loosely that you can't tell what's going on. The script, overloaded with some of the worst dialogue ever put to film, insults the audience's intelligence at every chance it gets. And don't even get me started on how terrible it is looking at it as an actual Transformers movie. Not stoked for the sequel.

Actually, just about everything directed or produced by Michael Bay except for Armageddon and Bad Boys. Those were okay, I thought. Seriously, this guy has the skill to make a decent movie. He has more than enough resources. So why does he keep making such bad movies?!

And for anyone who says an Uwe Boll film... Yeah, Boll is pretty terrible, but ever heard of Ulli Lommel? Trying sitting through one of his flicks. He almost makes Boll look good.

Angelus
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PostPosted: 12/02/09 08:49  Reply with quote

Mr Sleep wrote:
D'ya know, I think there's a 3 out there too (in addition to some CG-cartoon awefulness). Doesn't bare contemplating...


I have the 3rd movie and have to admit that it's basically an excuse for the series to take the mick out of itself.

The "bad actinbg" is taken to extreme in this movie, i found myself giggling through half of it.

If anyone's interested I can bring my copy along for people to take a look for themselves.

The CG episodes (roughly 7 of them) aren't entirely terrible. though they do deviate from the movies and try to stick more to the original comic book story line. Again i believe i have all of these if anyone wants to judge for themselves.

GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 14/02/09 09:48  Reply with quote

migratingfishswim wrote:


well that's just your own fault. surely 1 gave you enough warning? Razz


I've got my fingers crossed for Starship Trooper 4 - Troopers take on the Paedos! Check out Casper doing his best acting ever!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FgFbFKLF8A
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

rainbowrainbow
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PostPosted: 14/02/09 17:52  Reply with quote

Cloverfield, there's a film i really hated. I thought it was just at the start that it was set in first person camera view, but oh no, I was soooo wrong, it's all the way through. It even made my eyes hurt and made me dizzy (but it did have a warning note on the movie ticket). Apart from that, and the not too pleasing ending, the story line was pretty good. Also the credits freaked me out, there was no music, just a creepy silence through out the audience. Crying or Very sad

Mr Sleep
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PostPosted: 15/02/09 00:08  Reply with quote

GaTCHa wrote:

I've got my fingers crossed for Starship Trooper 4 - Troopers take on the Paedos! Check out Casper doing his best acting ever!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FgFbFKLF8A

Now that's just a crazy way of doing something like that! It took me a moment to realise he was trying to be serious - what kind of message does nonsense like that send! Crazy I tell you, CRAZY!
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GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 15/02/09 11:47  Reply with quote

With no overt-racism implied...... ONLY IN AMERICA !
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

iKiddo
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 14:37  Reply with quote

I absolutley detest the LOTR films. I mean .. Really really hate the 9 hour sleep fest.
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Tangelax
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 14:47  Reply with quote

I fell asleep in the first film actually, though I thought the others were alright. I should really read the books, I really liked The Hobbit and I do actually have the books but I never got around to reading them! Laughing
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iKiddo
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 14:55  Reply with quote

Tangelax wrote:
I fell asleep in the first film actually, though I thought the others were alright. I should really read the books, I really liked The Hobbit and I do actually have the books but I never got around to reading them! Laughing


Same boat as you when it comes to actually reading them. Mum got me them ages ago and still not read or really want to read them at all.
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Mr Sleep
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 16:30  Reply with quote

Arg - if you found the LotR films too long tiring, I wouldn't bother with the books!!!
I really quite enjoyed the films (and can't fathom that peeps would be bored - unless sword and sorcery fantasy was reeely not their thing) - but the books are a challenge of attention-stamina for most people (I know I never got through them LOL)!
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Tangelax
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 16:36  Reply with quote

Eh, I prefer books over pretty much anything else so I would be alright reading them, it's just that lately I haven't read that much at all. And while I did like the action scenes in LOTR I thought the plot was too heavy.

That's just another weird thing about me though, I love a really complecated plot in books, tv shows, anime, manga what ever, but not films. With films if it goes above the standerd Disney/Pixar plot I tend to get bored. I don't know... :dizzy:
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GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 17/03/09 17:04  Reply with quote

The LOTR books and the Hobbit are good - I know some of the poetry and song can be a bit much for most peeps.

The films were alright and were reasonably enjoyable and I can appreciate how hard it was to film something of that scale and make it so commercially successful.

It depends what you're in to.
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

kylej64
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PostPosted: 19/03/09 09:43  Reply with quote

I'll just go a little of toppic here (but that is what we seem to do). they are getting ready to make the hobbit (for 2012 but still). Have no fear of that one being boring/bad because Guillermo Del Toro is likely going to direct it (and forget blade 2 the guy is very tallented, he did Pan's Labyrinth after all)

GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 19/03/09 18:40  Reply with quote

kylej64 wrote:
I'll just go a little of toppic here (but that is what we seem to do). they are getting ready to make the hobbit (for 2012 but still). Have no fear of that one being boring/bad because Guillermo Del Toro is likely going to direct it (and forget blade 2 the guy is very tallented, he did Pan's Labyrinth after all)


I liked blade 2 Confused
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

kylej64
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Kyle Johnson
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PostPosted: 19/03/09 22:41  Reply with quote

GaTCHa wrote:


I liked blade 2 Confused


ok, so you have no sence of taste (that makes sence)

Mr Sleep
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PostPosted: 20/03/09 00:13  Reply with quote

kylej64 wrote:
...they are getting ready to make the hobbit (for 2012 but still)...


That okay, it gives me just enough time to learn all the names of the dwarf characters...
Laughing Rolling Eyes
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GaTCHa
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PostPosted: 20/03/09 07:12  Reply with quote

kylej64 wrote:


ok, so you have no sence of taste (that makes sence)


and your movie choices are all flawless? Razz
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

kylej64
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Kyle Johnson
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PostPosted: 20/03/09 12:51  Reply with quote

GaTCHa wrote:


and your movie choices are all flawless


I'm glad you agree :meowth:

GaTCHa
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Mark
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PostPosted: 20/03/09 17:48  Reply with quote

kylej64 wrote:


I'm glad you agree :meowth:


How could I not - I rely on you for ice cream subsidy - you're my sugar daddy LOL Razz
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

Ange
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Angela Jamie Young
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PostPosted: 25/05/09 23:22  Reply with quote

For all your movie hates, may I suggest you go here:

www.rifftrax.com

Mike, Bill and Kevin will be glad to help you with your problem Smile

Ange

GaTCHa
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Mark
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PostPosted: 26/05/09 07:14  Reply with quote

Ange wrote:
For all your movie hates, may I suggest you go here:

www.rifftrax.com

Mike, Bill and Kevin will be glad to help you with your problem Smile

Ange


Thanks - will check more of that site out after work Smile
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Who's in the forest strolling? / The birds and the bees sing "Momiji" / The frogs in the pond are calling / "Momiji", yes it's true. / The trees raise their leaves together / Who needs the sun when we've got you?

grr_im_here
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Daniel Dale
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PostPosted: 02/06/09 01:32  Reply with quote

anything from bollywood
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